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Armchair Mystic: Easing into Contemplative Prayer by Mark E. Thibodeaux S.J.
(St. Anthony Messenger Press, 2001, $11.95
Reviewed by Dan Brent
Author Thibodeaux builds this easy-to-read review of prayer around four stages
of prayer development: talking at God, talking to God, listening to God, and
contemplation. The overall movement is from Martha (busy prayer with activity I
can count) to Mary (quietly being with God bringing nothing I can take credit
for).
All of the stages are good and, as a “pray-er” moves to more advanced stages, he
or she will continue to lean on earlier stages with comfort and regularity. In
fact God, he says, may not even be calling a particular individual to
contemplation.
The book encourages “rituals” around prayer: same place and time each day and
same beginning and end each time.
Here are some of his points on each stage.
Stage One: Talking at God. In spite of the harsh-sounding name, this is
presented as a very positive approach to prayer. This is the use of memorized or
standard prayers: the Our Father, the rosary, stations, the Divine Office. These
prayers “connect me to the universal church.” (p.54) The pray-er is invited to
use this regularly and to fall back on it when the going gets rough at other
stages.
Thibodeaux offers several suggestions for helping this prayer type to work. Say
the prayer slowly, repeat it, select a word or phrase to savor, use a hymn and
sing it softly, repeat a word or phrase as a mantra.
Stage Two: Talking with God. This is spontaneous prayer in my own words. The
topics can be anything important to me – my joys, my problems, my fears, the
people and things I care about. “I let myself get it all out without any
censorship of words or feelings.” (p.68)
Sometimes, the author suggests, this prayer can be helped by making a journal
entry or an art piece (e.g. “God and Me”) that can then be discussed with God.
Stage Three: Listening to God. This is meditation prayer and the objective is to
listen for God. “It is in this third stage that I will spend most of my prayer
life.” (p.74) God’s voice, of course, comes not in apparitions but in little
internal promptings. “Why would he not choose to use my mind, my imagination, my
emotions to reach me?” (p.75)
The popular way to prompt this prayer is to start with a scripture passage (Lectio
Divina). Read the passage slowly several times. Pause on the word or phrase that
especially catches your attention. Make the word or phrase a mantra. Or get into
the scene and watch and listen and be aware of your feelings. You can add
yourself to the scene or get into the persona of one of the characters, Jesus
included.
If God feels close, don’t do anything; just savor the moment. Frequently in the
book – and especially here – Thibodeaux makes the point that this is all
relaxed, joyful, without pressure. He likens it to looking in a lake for
treasure. Like fishing, the joy is in being there; and sometimes a fish bites!
“It’s all about God’s treasures, God’s boat, and God’s lake.” (p.100)
But how do you know that your prayer promptings are God speaking and not your
own “fool’s gold”? Thibodeaux has some thoughts, especially the “by their
fruits” criteria that Jesus offered. He also suggests repetition, journaling,
and working with a director. Support groups can also provide a reality check.
His advice on distractions: remove them if that can be done. Otherwise, don’t
worry about them. Or vary my prayer. His advice on dryness: if God is calling me
into the desert, persevere. (Training and practice aren’t that much fun for
athletes.)
Stage Four: Contemplative Prayer. This is the Mary stage where “I abandon all of
my activity and sit before the Lord with empty hands and open heart.” (p.151)
“I continue to listen, but now I am listening to God’s silence.” (p.155) The
reward – when it comes – is “the overwhelming sense of God and me as one.”
(p.157) The experience is, Thibodeaux explains, not unlike the long-married
couple who sit together for long periods without words, delighted in each
other’s presence.
The book encourages “rituals” around prayer: same place and time each day and
same beginning and end each time. The author visits such things as dryness in
prayer, and the ever-present temptation to ask, “am I doing it right?” The book
is replete with creative suggestions for prayer and intentional Christian
living.
The book finishes with some suggestions for living a contemplative lifestyle.
Like this story on living simply. “A distraught businessman went to spend a few
days of retreat in a monastery. The kind monk who showed him his cell said to
him, ‘If you need anything, let us know and we will teach you how to live
without it.’” (p.173)
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