Reconciliation

 “…[I]f you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come offer your gift.” (Mt. 5: 23-25)

Have you ever watched two children having an argument, quarreling over something insignificant, as we adults often do?   Their dialogue might go something like this:

“You’re stupid!”

 “Well, so are you.”   

“Not as stupid as you are!”

“I’m rubber, you’re glue, everything you say bounces off me and sticks to you!”

 “Oh yeah? That’s what you think.”  etc. etc.

After they finish their heated exchange, they go their separate ways and perhaps sulk a bit.  Then ten minutes or so later, they’re back together playing again.   No brooding, no wounded egos, no blame, no dredging up the past, no recriminations.  After a brief, honest exchange of angry feelings and a brief cooling off period, all is forgotten.

Children are better at forgiving than us adults.  Somewhere in the process of growing up we seem to become experts at holding grudges and cradling fragile egos.   We develop razor sharp memories of past wrongs and carry them around with us, ready at a moment’s notice to use them as ammunition against the person who hurt us.  We become determined to win every battle and if we don’t, begin plotting our revenge. Scripture warns us, however, as in today’s gospel, that failure to forgive comes at a heavy price.

Leonardo DaVinci, once wronged by a fellow artist, plotted how to get back at him.  Working on a painting at the time, he thought to himself, “I know what I’m going to do!”  Whereupon Leonardo meticulously and with great detail painted this other artist’s face into the face of Judas.  He did it in such a way that no one would be able to mistake who Judas really was and this would heap scorn on the wrongdoer.  Everything went fine until Leonardo began to paint the face of Christ.  He had such a block that he just couldn’t do it.  Making no progress and becoming more and more frustrated, he finally figured out the cause of the problem -- his unforgiving spirit, his thirst for revenge.  So DaVinci went to that artist and reconciled with him.  Surprise, surprise, you can see the result in the face of Jesus in one of the world’s greatest masterpieces, the Last Supper.  Moral of the story: you can’t be wrong with another and right with God.

(As an aside, do you know the definition of Sicilian Alzheimer’s disease?  That’s when you forget everything but your grudges.)

Every time we pray the Our Father we’re reminded that our own forgiveness is conditioned on our forgiving others.  Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us.  That little word “as” packs a powerful punch because it means God won’t forgive us unless we first satisfy the condition.  God sent his only Son to die on the cross and take away our sins and all God asks in return is for us to be grateful; to realize that what the Son has done for us is so much more than we could ever be required to do for our neighbor.  If we still can’t forgive, it’s probably because we haven’t come to appreciate enough the immeasurable benefit we have received from what happened on Good Friday.   

Jesus believed that our attitudes toward one another reflect our attitude about God.  It’s simply not possible to feel close to God if our hearts are bloated with bitterness toward anyone.  To be at peace with God, therefore, we must first be at peace with our friends and neighbors.            In effect, we love God no more than the person we love least.

Because the only condition attached to his love commandment is that we love one another as he loved others, reconciliation was at the very core of his ministry.  There’s no exception for people difficult to love or people who have hurt us deeply.  On the cross, in pardoning his executioners, he transformed humanity’s instinct for retribution, generated by hate, into one for forgiveness, generated by love.  In short, without forgiveness, there can be no love.  Without forgiveness, faith can’t deepen or grow, but stagnates and dies

As we continue to prepare to commemorate the passion, death and resurrection of our savior in just a few short days, we need to search our hearts to see if there’s anyone, including ourselves, we need to forgive.  Then forgive we must -- just as Jesus did on the cross and throughout his ministry and just as Leonardo did.  If we don’t, we’re only hurting ourselves.  But, more importantly, we’ll be missing out on the reason for the season!

Anthony J. Sciolino
Matthew 5:20-23
Lenten Penance Service
April 8 and 10, 2006